“The real solution lies in a world in which charity will have become unnecessary.”Anthills of the Savannah, Chinua Achebe
“I stopped believing there was a power of good and a power of evil that were outside us. And I came to believe that good and evil are names for what people do, not for what they are.”The Amber Spyglass, Philip Pullman
“The moment you stop to think about whether you love someone, you’ve already stopped loving that person forever.”The Shadow of the Wind, Carlos Ruiz Zafon
“And it occurred to him that there were two parts to being a better person. One part was thinking about other people. The other part was not giving a toss what other people thought.”A Spot of Bother, Mark Haddon
“Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people the same. It simply is not possible. You love each person differently because of who they are and the uniqueness that they draw out of you.”The Shack, William P. Young
“Fear both the heat and the cold of your heart, and try to have patience, if you can.”Unfinished Tales, J.R.R. Tolkien
“I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
3. Modern dating sucks but it really teaches you a lot. Modern dating sucks but with every dating disaster that happens to you, you learn one more thing about yourself and about the person you are looking for. You also learn how to love yourself and you learn that sometimes you have to choose being alone instead of being with someone who is not treating you right or someone who doesn’t want to define the relationship.
4. Invest in a few good friends. Your friends will be your support system forever. The better friends you have, the easier your life will be. Good friends will get you through almost anything in life. Pick them wisely and you will always find someone to lean on when life gets rough. They will be your main backbone.
5. Don’t settle. Don’t date someone just because you’ve been single for so long or because all your friends are married. Don’t stay in a relationship that is not good for you because it’s comfortable and don’t hold on to someone who doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.
6. You have to know who you are before getting married. Getting married when you’re in an unsteady place in your life makes you count on the relationship as the main source of your happiness and makes you follow your partner’s footsteps without stopping to ask yourself if this is what you really want.
7. Kids are not the answer. Having kids does not mean you secured a spot in marriage paradise, if anything, it’s the ultimate test to determine how strong the marriage is. People who have kids when they’re not ready are really just setting their marriage up for disaster.
8. You will not ‘lose’ your married friends. I think this is the biggest misconception – that you will not be talking to your friends who got married. Once they get past the honeymoon phase, everything will be back to normal and they will still be a phone call away.
9. You can make things happen alone. You can get your dream job or buy that house or travel to this country without anyone’s help or approval. When you are growing up without being committed to someone, you truly have the world in your hands and you can just do whatever you want and become whoever you want. Being independent is a wonderful thing that will make you rich in so many ways. In this day and age, being single is actually a privilege — depending on the way you look at it.
10. Marriage is also not the answer. I mentioned earlier that kids are not the answer but marriage is also not the answer. If you didn’t learn to find your happiness alone, you won’t find it in your marriage, if you didn’t learn to love yourself when you’re single, you won’t love yourself when you’re married, if you didn’t find yourself before marriage, you won’t find yourself after marriage.
People are told that marriage is what makes them complete but the truth is nothing can complete someone but themselves, their experiences, their passions, their hearts, their intelligence and their strength.
“You need a high degree of corruption or a very big heart to love absolutely everything.”November, Gustave Flaubert