There are many things in this vast world of ours that I don’t understand. Why Franks Red Hot Sauce makes everything better, how Nicholas Cage keeps getting lead roles, why people who live BELOW sea level always seem surprised that a hurricane destroys their city (looking at you New Orleans), accounting, scientology in general, and why the Nebraska Cornhuskers football team always finds a way to break my heart. These are questions that in the end I have just accepted don’t have tangible answers. And in an attempt to not go insane I’ve made my peace with that.
However, there are other topics of importance that I also seem to not grasp. One of these on my mind as of late is that of fate and destiny. When I was younger and much more likely to do and believe what others told me to I thought that it was an absolute certainty that both fate and destiny were real. I mean they HAD to be right? How else can you explain why things happen to us? Why would so many people talk about something if it wasn’t real? How else can you calm someone down or ease tension and anger from a situation? Phrases like “if it’s ment to be it’ll find a way,” “God will see it done,” and “Love will find a way” paired a long with a lack of action have become more and more a topic of irritation for me.
I understand that for most people the thought of fate and destiny is a comforting idea. It allows them to live their lives however they want and truly believe that something will happen to them regardless of their choices. In a way it absolves them from any real responsibilty for their circumstances. What I don’t understand is how more people don’t find this delusional. If I told you I wanted to be a published author but I never wrote anything or did but never showed it to anyone would tell me that “it just wansn’t ment to be?” No. You’d tell me to actually do something toward achieving my goal. You’d tell me to write and write and keep writing until my fingers bled. You’d tell me to read until my eyes were bloodshot and glassy. With enough effort and energy perhaps I would become a published author. However, what is the cause for this? Is it the hours I spent preparing and working toward my goal or was I just magically destined all long to accomplish this goal? To me, the former seems much more realistic.
I guess the thing that bothers me the most about fate and destiny is that they are concepts that give people an “out” of responsibility for their own lives. They use these words and their concepts as crutch. By believing that things will happen on their own, people just end up fooling themselves. Instead of taking action towards what they want people are more content to sit back, wait and hope. I’ve never found hoping to be much of a strategy. If it was the Cornhuskers wouldn’t have lost a game for the past 20 years and I’d be dating Natalie Portman, but I digress.
I am currently working on a cruise ship in Australia. A bit random? Perhaps. Do I think that when I was 5 this was my for certain path? Was I destined to leave everyone and everything I knew behind me in search of something new? Not a chance. I am here because of every choice I have made over the past 23 years. Getting an M.I.P., going to Creighton University, deciding to not go to law school, taking a desk job that wasn’t right for me, deciding I wanted nothing more than to travel the world and work with people. And most importantly deciding to do something about it when I realized how unhappy I was. THESE are the things that brought me here. My choices.
I’ve said all of this to get to this point. Your life is yours. Where you are, who you’re with, what you do, all of these things stem from the choices you’ve made. But the beauty of it all is that no matter where you at in life in regards to your goals or your happiness YOU have the ability to change it. There is no predetermined situation. We create our own. Depending on the kind of person you are you will find that concept either terrifying or freeing. I find it freeing. To truly believe that I have control over my life and no one else was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever experienced. I hope for your sake that if you haven’t already that someday soon you realize this and make your life exactly what you want it to be.
Maybe that’s your destiny after all.
“With mindfullness, strive.”